Just like every other Millennial, the employees of Dittoe PR are concerningly obsessed with “The Office” and everything that it perfectly articulates – always managing to generate laughter no matter how many times you’ve seen the episode. It is just that good. And after reading a brilliantly creative blog by a Sigstr employee [and fellow ButlerBulldog], I was inspired to merge my love for Dunder Mifflin with the most significant aspect of public relations: pitching.
While drafting personalized pitches for each reporter can seem time consuming, the lasting relationships formed with media members and top-notch coverage secured for our clients is more than worth the effort.
To show you what we mean by “personalized,” I crafted and tailored media pitches to five Dunder Mifflin employees leveraging current clients of Dittoe PR:
MICHAEL: Why All the Coolest Bosses are Texting for Talent
As a leading branch manager for a thriving paper company, we thought you’d be interested in learning how to bring more hardworking, cool employees, like Ryan, to your office.
Text-based interviewing platforms, like startup Canvas, are helping businesses communicate with the already mobile-obsessed talent generation. With Canvas, employers are able to screen more candidates daily, allowing prospective employees to respond to interview questions at any time from any location—bathroom, crowded concert or even the club.
Not only does this recruiting method resonate with Millennials – like Ryan – but texting is now a prevalent form of communication across all generations. According to Mobile Marketer, 60% of individuals over age 45 say they are just as likely to use texting as voice calling.
This is why you need to hang up on your phone interviews and start more conversations with job candidates via text message interviews instead. Any interest in having a Canvas representative come to your office to learn more?
STANLEY: Relieve Boss-Induced Stress with Holistic Approaches
Hello, Stanley –
Research has linked having a lousy boss to an increased risk of heart attack due to high-stress environments. Thankfully, research also found that massage therapy is effective in lowering stress and blood pressure.
Just like Pretzel Day, a massage is capable of diminishing any woes of the workplace and providing the relief and relaxation you desperately need now more than ever. Enter Massage Heights retreat in Indiana, where therapists limit conversation and focus on administering the perfect pressure tailored to your preferences. From essential oils to massage therapy, Massage Heights will ensure your monitor is on silent.
A Massage Heights representative would be more than happy to visit for an in-office interview and demonstration of a chair massage to show what the benefits of massage therapy are. Any interest?
DWIGHT: How Paper Straws Can Help Recyclops Defeat Polluticorn
We are reaching out because we desperately need your exemplary skills in an effort to alter human attitude and behavior about plastics and catalyze a significant reduction in plastic pollution.
In the U.S. alone, we use 500 million plastic straws every day, many of which end up in our oceans, Shrute Farms and harming our sea life while conquering Recyclops’ planet. If we don’t act now, Polluticorn will rule the world.
How can you help? With your remarkable persuasive leadership, you can get your followers to #StopSucking on single-use plastic straws. USA-made Aardvark flexible paper straws are the strongest, longest lasting on the market. They’re safe, FDA-approved and friendly to our environment. Aardvark paper straws come in 200+ customizable designs, including these that match your demeanor.
If willing to help, we’ll send you samples of Aardvark Straws that will help destroy Polluticorn and his army of pollutants. Any interest?
TOBY: Leveraging Corporate Relocation when Moving to Paradise
I recently heard you were relocating to Costa Rica, so I thought you’d find interest in reading a newly released industry study from leading mover, Atlas Van Lines, detailing companies’ current corporate relocation policies and practices.
This year’s Corporate Relocation Survey surveyed 444 corporate relocation professionals, with 91% of respondents working in HR like yourself. Companies like Dunder Mifflin and Prince Family Paper estimated that only a third of relocations were fully reimbursed – meaning employers are once again letting you down.
While the impact of housing/mortgage concerns has lessened notably over the past six years, not everyone can rely on branch closings and severance to pay for their moves.
More findings and data pertaining to the comprehensive study can be found here. Any interest in sharing this study with fellow HR representatives?
KEVIN: Making the Malone Family Mainstay Dundie-Worthy
We’ve heard about Kevin’s Famous Chili, and we’re here to introduce you to an ingredient – available at Carmel Market District – capable of taking your dish from good, to award-winning.
This summer forget the Ancho Chiles and indulge in the addictive flavor of New Mexico’s famous pepper, the Hatch Chile pepper. These bold, spicy peppers will pair perfectly with the under-cooked onions, pressed garlic and diced tomatoes that will surely have folks chatting.
This famous pepper combined with your famous chili will ensure you a coveted Dundie while leaving everyone else saying “Don’t Go in There After Me!”
We’d love to host you in-store for a segment showcasing your chili! Happy to help transport the dish after as well!
Think your business or organization could benefit from our creative minds and tailored pitching? Contact Lauryn Gray at email@example.com today!